I received a few critiques on my previous video. I was surprised that that I needed to tell the potential customers what I wanted, not just what they want. I also received critique on making a better hook. I incorporated both of these critiques into my second draft. These two critiques surprised me but were also the most useful.
I think you definitely improved with this second elevator pitch. You seem confident talking in front of the camera and have lots of positive energy about your business. My only critique would be to include what the cost of your service will be next time. If you don't have a specific cost since different services will be provided then you could include a price range. Also will it be an app or will people just call a phone number when they need a service from you? Your business is coming along great. Keep up the great work!
Hey Jonny,
ReplyDeleteI think you definitely improved with this second elevator pitch. You seem confident talking in front of the camera and have lots of positive energy about your business. My only critique would be to include what the cost of your service will be next time. If you don't have a specific cost since different services will be provided then you could include a price range. Also will it be an app or will people just call a phone number when they need a service from you? Your business is coming along great. Keep up the great work!